Embrace Your Recovery Magic: The Power of Rituals and Altars
There’s no way to sugarcoat the fact that substance use disorder and aging both come with jumbo-sized levels of stigma. I’m a pretty confident, self-aware person, but there are moments when being a sober 49-year-old completely dominates my consciousness.
Even after working for years to become someone I can be proud of, I still catch myself looking in the mirror and wondering, “Is this all there is?” or fantasizing about who I “could have been.”
The reality is that our world isn’t set up to make us feel good about either sobriety or aging, so we have to take matters into our own hands.
Redefining Transitions With Rituals and Altars
For me, rituals and altars have been incredibly valuable tools in the pursuit of quieting unhelpful voices—both inside and outside my own head. They remind me that I get to decide what getting sober and getting older mean to me, and that both these things are major transitions and accomplishments.
Think about the other transitions we experience in our lives: graduations, weddings, bat mitzvahs, etc. We hold these moments as sacred and mark them with special songs, clothing, and practices. But why don’t we celebrate other kinds of transitions, the incremental ones that define our day-to-day lives?
Every day we spend sober is a miracle and a gift worthy of acknowledgment. Every day we remain alive on this earth is an opportunity for growth, empowerment, and self-discovery. Bringing rituals into our lives can remind us of that. Marking these moments, even in small ways, can bring us joy, enrich our sense of gratitude and fun, and reconnect us with the most essential parts of ourselves.
Embracing Magic in Midlife
Rituals and altars can also spark joy and offer support when the realities of midlife aren’t feeling so magical. As women and nonbinary babes navigating the physical and emotional changes that come with aging, these practices can encourage us to express our creativity, play with our surroundings, try new things, and remember what we appreciate about ourselves and cherish most in our lives. Whether it's creating a ritual to welcome the freecom menopause or establishing an altar to connect with ancestral wisdom, these practices remind us of our inherent power and resilience.
Embracing Rituals
Rituals are intentional, symbolic actions performed with mindfulness and purpose. They can range from simple daily practices, such as meditation or journaling, to more elaborate ceremonies like the milestones I mentioned earlier. They provide a sense of structure, purpose, and connection to something greater than oneself. They also make life feel a lot more special!
I didn’t realize it at the time, but rituals were an incredibly important part of my recovery. Morning meditation, visualization, and affirmations became a cosmic drumbeat that kept me moving forward when I first quit drinking, and my confidence was shaky. They reminded me that I was worthy of caring for.
Early sobriety was also when I attempted my first spell, and I still think it is one of the most effective I’ve ever practiced. I had no idea what I was doing, but I found myself combining plants and stones in a jar that I painted and kept in my kitchen. Every day, I recited affirmations and mantras while I held the jar in my hands, swirling it around. It may have looked crazy, but it felt so natural and satisfying. I was following my instincts and connecting to a trusted inner voice inside of me that I had drowned out with alcohol for over a decade. The collection in the jar connected me to the world beyond my physical self, reminding me that all energy is connected and that I was never truly alone.
Building Altars
Altars are sacred spaces dedicated to honoring and connecting with the divine, the self, deities, ancestors, and the natural world. They can be as simple as a small table adorned with meaningful objects or as elaborate as an entire room dedicated to spiritual practice.
Altars can also serve as powerful tools for healing and transformation. Whether it's lighting a candle in honor of a sobriety milestone or creating a collection of items that inspire a sense of abundance, these spaces—and the act of creating them—offer tangible reminders of our intentions, our values, our dreams, and what we honor.
I have a few altars in my house; they range from tiny spaces where I arrange found objects and notes to myself to entire pieces of furniture where I father and arrange art, poetry, plants, and crystals. Some of them are visually very beautiful and some look kind of junky and weird. But they are all meaningful to me and remind me daily of who I am, what I care about, and a larger, unseen world that loves and protects me.
Ready, Set, Practice!
The first rule of experimenting with rituals and altars is not to be too precious about it. Connect with yourself, and don’t worry about whether other people will think you’re doing it “right.” The most important elements of magical work are your intention, your attention, and your faith that it will work!
Take some time (days, if need be) to mediate and reflect on what you hope to achieve through your ritual and altar work. Whether it's healing, empowerment, connection, or inspiration, clarifying your intention will help you harness and direct your energy.
Then, proceed in the manner that feels right. Give yourself permission to be imperfect about it. Your altar isn’t going to look like some witch on Instagram built it. It’s going to be yours, and it’s going to be awesome!
Here are a few other steps to get started:
Take time (there’s that phrase again—you do NOT need to be in a hurry when it comes to magic!) to declutter the area in which you plan to practice.
Remove any objects that remind you of your drinking days or make you feel bad about yourself. Sweep the floor, clap in all the corners to stir up the stagnant energy, and open the windows and doors to usher out the past.
Find a surface to create your altar or set up a space specifically for ritual work. It could be a corner of your bedroom, a shelf in your living room, or a spot in your garden. Again, this space does not have to be big or fancy! It just needs to feel comfortable and right to you.
Collect meaningful objects that resonate with your vision and your spiritual beliefs. These could include candles, crystals, photographs, flowers, shells, skulls, or symbols of your faith. Your choices don’t have to be aesthetically pleasing or make sense to anyone but you. If your altar is intended to connect you with someone who has passed, consider offering a morsel of food or a small dish of water.
Arrange your objects on a table or surface, paying attention to how you feel. Allow your intuition to guide you as you create a display that resonates as sacred and aligned with your intentions.
Consider incorporating other daily or weekly rituals into your routine. These could be anything from pulling a tarot card to offering prayers or affirmations, tending a garden, lighting candles, or (for you more experienced witches) casting a circle and doing a full incantation. Allow these practices to deepen your connection to yourself, your spiritual “team,” and the world around you. (Attending to your altar can be a ritual in and of itself!)
The most critical relationship in our lives is the relationship we have with ourselves. Feeling like a stranger to yourself can be extraordinarily lonely, and loneliness doesn’t mix well with recovery. So, if you find yourself experiencing this disconnect, don’t just accept it. That hollow moment is the perfect opportunity to fill your life with a little recovery magic!